Scandal Response Seminar

Here's two ways of handling a scandalized reaction from the public. One is the right way, one is wrong.

Case A: You do a topless photo shoot where you don't even show your boobs but couldn't anyway since your fifteen and within said photo shoot are also somewhat creepy pictures with your Dad. Public is scandalized that you showed the world your bare back at the photo shoot curiously booked with a photographer known for creating controversial portraits, often of a sexualized nature. You work for one of the largest, supposedly "family friendly" corporations in the world and your purity image takes a hit; even without the half naked MySpace self-protraits revealing a great deal more skin that subsequently appear with less public outrage, you've got PR trouble. What do you do?

Response: it's the wrong one, but it's only one you can do. When you're a household name who stands to lose millions of dollars from the company with its own questionable ethics that employs you, your path is clear. You pretend that you were victimized, had some sort of total loss of reason for days, or were just so terribly hurt by this thing all along. I'm scandalized that I'm actually posting a link to Omg! News (especially since there's the incredibly appropriate link to other topless celebrity examples on the page), but it's such the perfect example of the wrong response. It hurts your credibility and the integrity of people who are supposed to be watching out for you as a teenager. Plus, it lets the moral hypocrisy of the righteous-outragists continue. Gotta admit though, I'd probably be bowing and scraping too if I was about to lose all those bags of money.

Case B: You've unleashed a rant at a live concert against a fan who threw something you. Said rant includes telling the fan that you'd butt fuck him if he threw anymore shit at you, calling the fan a faggot and pussy multiple times as well as a "dickless fucking turd."

Response: it's the more difficult and dangerous choice to make, but it's right one because of the respect you earn, if only for yourself. You tell the scandalized people to eloquently go fuck themselves. You address the fact that your remarks might be considered homophobic and turn the moral outrage back around to the accusers. A much more perilous path to walk, but if done correctly, could deflate anything brewing from the self-righteous. I especially appreciate the "PC lingo" sign-off. A little humor never hurts.