Next Set of Digs (and Drinks)

I will have a new website opening soon. There will material from here as well as professional, portfolio-style things. If you've actually read my writing here, I thank you, and I hope that I will give you more to read at the new website. I may be contributing here still. I'll let you know. There's a bit more freedom here and less expectation. I can post a link to my writing about Unintentional Porn (on the sidebar to the right) without thinking, "I wonder if a potential employer might look negatively on that." In this place, I can think & write without an additional layer of second guessing. Plus, I made it my mission four years ago (yes, this blog has been around that long) for this to be the dive bar of blogs. My independent press to be read with a cheap beer. I still like that idea, but I've also developed a taste for a fine IPA. So while cheap beer is an important accessory to life, it's okay to order a bottle of the more sophisticated stuff once in a while.

These words make it sound like closing time. Maybe it is. Working the job search while day caring for my two children (ages two and 0.5) has taken most of my time from me. It's a stretch to devote the time I need to putting together something even remotely post-able. So maybe it's better to have all my shit, ahem, stuff (sorry, potential employers) in one spot and make it look nice. It's one more thing to show those who can give me salary.

But, as I know too well, I greatly value my freedom. So, if you are truly one of the precious few folk who actually read these cheap beer thoughts of mine, don't stop looking for me here unless I tell you to. And please do go to the new website when it's up. Look for it within the next week or so. I'm thinking of it as an expansion of my blog bar menu. Hopefully you'll have some draught writing to look at and maybe even a little something from the top shelf. Finally, I thank you for reading anything I've written. I'm lucky to have any audience at all. I hope you come back for another round.

The Job Market

It's tough out there.



But there's always career advice:



Maybe I should look into selling encyclopedias.

Seasons

It's come to this. It started here. Then continued here. Along the way, the unexpected happened. There was more. There were familiar foibles, hopes that rose and fell, and finally a closing up of a familiar pastime so that the next season relieves the last. I speak of baseball and my own life.

I thought things were a little too cozy and predictable. Predictions were overly favorable, which often leads to trouble. Some critical pieces didn't deliver as expected. This lead to losses. Other pieces did what was expected and leave hope alive at season's end. There's a sense of half-emptiness; good things happened but couldn't provide what was needed for success. This, too, is baseball and more.

Unfulfilled seasons and the events within them threaten to disgorge maudlin emotional writings. When baseball started, I had one child and a steady job. Now I have two children and no job. The lost job is a by-product of these economic times. My (former) company lost a lot of business and I was laid off with 49 others. I expected to work at that company for a long time. Looking back, I saw that this was too cozy and predictable. A critical piece didn't deliver as expected. Despite this, a brand new player emerged into this game. I have a daughter now. I have a son and a daughter.

These are beautiful facts. Yet I'm troubled because I need to provide for them. Luckily, I have an employed, capable, and insurance-providing spouse. I'm taking to my new position as full-time Child Provider Within Home Environment (Housewife) with fits and starts. I always knew being a homemaker was a hard job. I respected people who did it and built their lives around it. It's rough. Despite the benefits of happy children and earning Diaper Genie expertise, it's also something I don't feel totally committed to. It's because I don't feel like the best person for the job. I find these two little people I'm managing to be challenging in their behavioral habits and frequent emotional outbursts. Still, this is a unique time in their lives that I get to share in. They still break into huge smiles when they see me. It makes me glad, but I know that there's so many other people who are better at this than I am. I just hope these two don't figure that out too soon.

So, what's next for the offseason? Unloading disgruntled pieces? Re-thinking of strategy? Finding a left-handed bat? This is where the baseball and life analogy breaks down. I could draw parallels to this point, but the Cubs have a staff and a boatload of money to help them decide their future. I have no idea what I'm doing. Sure, I'm applying. I've been having beers with old friends Monster, C. Builder, Circle of Creative, and Chicago Reader. I've placed ads on Craigslist and other national web sites. Searching through my files reveals over 180 different cover letters. I've made over 50 applications in the past few months alone.

I have to wonder if anyone's listening. Or reading, or even looking. I want to think that I'm not simply feeding an online black hole that devours resumes. But I know it's bad out there. This is Winter. A very long, bitter Job Market Winter, perhaps. There's a lot of cold people out there. For now, my jacket still fits, the house is warm, everyone's fed, and we can maintain this for a while. Through Spring? Probably. Through the actual changing of this Season? We'll see.

Don't Have Time to Watch Anything? Me Neither, But I Watch These Anyway

Back from hiatus with a healthy new daughter to show for it. So far, she's sleeping slightly better than her older brother, but that may not last. As such, I'm only able to watch what my DVR gives me, and I can only stay awake so long, so I have to be very careful with my choices. Here's my Sleepy New Parent Planning Guide for the precious few moments available for TV watching. Being less wakeful than usual, we've decided to re-watch an old favorite, follow two existing programs, and try one new thing. Breakdown:

OLD FAVORITE TO RE-WATCH: Deadwood. For this, I must thank channel 101 on DirecTV. Whatever blessed person decided to re-run this amazing HBO series has my undying gratitude. I love the show. I love listening to Shakespeare if he had put the nastiest derogatory language into his prose many times over. The ensemble is stocked with terrific actors. The writers make lyrical poetry with foul language fit into fascinating Old West historical drama. Meanwhile, creator David Milch and his directors steer the show perfectly. I've already seen every episode, but the show still hits me, even when I'm half asleep. That's how good Deadwood is.

TWO EXISTING PROGRAMS TO FOLLOW: The Soup and The Daily Show. Big advantage to these shows is that they're less than 30 minutes. If we're lucky, 60 minutes is about as much time and energy available for one sitting. Both these shows have smart humor and cover current events with sharp satire. Perfect TV candy.

THE ONE NEW THING: Mad Men. For this, I must thank a co-worker who lent me his DVDs (TV episodes on DVD is another blessing for the sleepy parent). I'd heard nothing but praise for this show the past few years. Two episodes into the first season, it's well deserved. I really like how Mad Men presents the perfectly coiffed exterior of 1950's American idealism while showing everything going wrong underneath. The setting of the biggest marketing firm in New York only makes it more appealing to me. Despite all the pretty pictures, misogyny runs rampant, co-workers smile through hateful statements, and people have lots of dirty secrets. Marketing can involve a lot of half-truths and masking of ugly reality, so the setting is perfect for the action. The series has barely started and I'm hooked. Can't wait to see more.

So for anyone dealing with nursing, changing diapers, burping, breast pumps, holding the wailing little ones, or if you're just missing sleep, I hope these help.

Hiatus Time

Going to be going on leave for a bit. Hope to be writing more soon, probably in a few weeks. In the meantime, go see Dead Wrong at the Factory Theater and read the Factory Theater blog.

Dead Wrong - Opens June 26th

It's getting closer. And closer.



Murder, mystery, and thrills done right. I've seen the previews and this'll give you the shakes as you try to figure out whodunnit. Brought to you by Chicago's Finest Theater, the Factory. Go to www.thefactorytheater.com. See if you can figure out who the killer is. Maybe you'll be right, but maybe you'll be DEAD WRONG.

Best of our Community

Will Schutz was my friend. To my great regret, I hadn't seen him for years and I was unaware of how badly his health had deteriorated in the past six months. Will died of pancreatic cancer on May 25, just a few days before his 48th birthday. I'm very saddened by his death. There are many more who knew him better than I who feel the pain of his loss deeply. He was an integral member of the Chicago non-Equity theater community who gave everything he had to Chicago Theater because he loved it so much. I can safely say the feelings were mutual. Will illustrated many things about Chicago Theater in both his life and death.

I find the Chicago Theater community to be incredibly close yet scattered at the same time. We are a small group and many close bonds are formed during the course of rehearsals and performances. Though friendships remain, sometimes we lose close touch with each other over the years due to circumstances, life changes, and simply not being in shows together. We warmly greet each other when we do come in contact, regardless of the circumstances, but maintaining close contact with our castmates can be difficult, especially because plenty of us do so many shows all over the city. Regardless of circumstance, I feel I failed Will as someone I knew well when I did a show with him in 1999. I should have checked up on him better, especially when I discovered his health was worsening. However, Will was the kind of person, I believe, who would not begrudge me for lack of contact over the years. Within the community, losing touch over time isn't discounting anyone's friendships; part of that is the assumption that we'll always see each other later, and we usually do. Will was like that, but he was also a much, much better person than most. This was abundantly clear during his memorial service as a large contingent of Chicago's non-Equity theater community came to pay their respects.

Hundreds of people gathered in the Viaduct for a very moving service. This show of love plus an article by Catey Sullivan detailing Will's battle with cancer, and Kris Vire's Time Out article are just a few examples of how well regarded Will Schutz was in all he did. Will was someone who endeared himself to many and, through his prolific talents and work with many companies, ended up becoming a unifying force for Chicago Theater. Will's death brought our scattered, close-knit community together for one night to mourn and celebrate what he gave to us. I spoke to people I hadn't seen in years, renewing contact with old friends while sitting alongside my beloved Factory company members. In a way, it felt like Will was giving ME a parting gift, even though I owed him time and support I can no longer give. Will was a good guy that way. He'd give to everyone else first, and that's why he was among the best of our community.

Hope for Horror

Metacritic, one of my favorite sites for entertainment reference, is making a strong case for Drag Me to Hell as a good flick, possibly one of the best horror movies in a long time. It always makes me happy to see positive reviews for horror movies as I'm a big fan of the genre. Sam Raimi, long before he was the excellent director of the Spider-Man movies, was the gloriously fun director of the Evil Dead horror franchise as well as a major part of the Xena: Warrior Princess series. Mr. Raimi understands the importance of action and humor, and he knows how to make good horror. Far from being a horror-only auteur, Raimi demonstrated his range as a director (see A Simple Plan), and his prolific resume shows major input on several franchises. I hope to see Drag Me to Hell in the theaters as having an audience to laugh and scream with is a major perk of this movie. Getting out is harder these days, but it increases the impact a theater or movie experience has on me. I'm still thinking about Red Noses, a fantastic production from Strawdog Theatre that just closed. I'm excited to see Dead Wrong from my own Factory Theater as it looks to deliver a few thrills and chills of its own. It's murder-mystery-horror, as only the Factory can do. Like Mr. Raimi, I believe the Factory knows the worth of a good laugh and the impact of a startled jump. We work from our guts. Good horror and humor are visceral experiences, so they should produced well and enjoyed to the fullest of their success. I hope Drag Me to Hell has a positive, lasting impact on the horror genre as it constantly needs a good hit to keep it alive. The Factory Theater is the same way. I believe in both.

Earth Is the New Goth

Memorial Day is the unofficial start of summer, which means my favorite season is drawing to a close. Luckily, summer is a close second. These times of the year are favored because of their pleasant familiarity. The weather's warm, sun dresses appear, being outside is a joy, I will cook meat and vegetables on my big charcoal grill, and I will be vexed and bouyed by baseball. These are familiar pleasures, but now I have new ones. These new pleasing activities stem from previously hated chores. Now that I have my own yard, I love being in it and working on it. A lifetime ago as an idiot teenager, I hated yardwork. I had better things to do, like listen to The Cure and Depeche Mode while brooding or simpering around in black clothing. What use was sunshine? Pulling weeds, caring for grass, or planting anything was enforced on my weekend agenda. Now, I look forward to what else I'm going to put into my piece of earth and the feel of grass between my fingers.

What the hell is wrong with me? It's warm, It's sunny, and I can't believe the things I love now.

As I get older and more verbose, I see constant reminders of time slipping away, so I'm learning that it's best not to overanalyze the contradictions with my past, especially with the happy stuff. Essentially, shut up and enjoy.

So screw it. When I'm crumbling away in my later years, I'll have a few affixed times in my head of happy yardwork as I still listen to the Cure and Depeche Mode, but now outside with soil blackening my skin instead of my corny outfit. My back yard now fills my goth needs. Getting older does have a few perks.

I'm About to Get Lyrical on Your Ass

I've never trusted myself to write anything poetic. So, in a bit of switch, my best friend Mike and I collaborated on a song; him with music, me with lyrics. He sent me the tune and I whipped up some words. I like the tune he wrote and I tried to compliment it with words we both like. We're stretching ourselves a bit with something new, and while the finished tune is still in process, here's some initial lyrics (subject to change if either of us don't like 'em):

“Summer Girls” Lyrics

Let the sunlight bring out your skin
It’s been cold, frozen, wrong
The heat will begin, sun will come in
Light your bare legs, long
Show your sun dress, let your hair down
Shake yourself out, strong
Throw your neck out, feel the wind
Air cross your chest, song

See, I see, summer girls
Summer girls

Wipe my eyes off, clear my face
This sight is much too fine
Colors lovely, never replace
This piece of you, mine
You dance, you romp, my heart it stomps
You boil my blood and mind
My eyes run races across and through you
Sun and air embrace you, divine

See, I see, summer girls
Summer girls

[Breakdown]
[Instrumental verse]

See, I see, summer girls
Summer girls
It must be, summer girls
How I love summer girls

[fin]

Home and Atomic History

Last year, I put up (in several parts) a piece I wrote for my graduate studies about one perspective on my hometown of Los Alamos, New Mexico. Recently, a TV crew was let into a bomb site in Nevada where over 900 nuclear bombs were tested, which led me to vce.com or atomcentral. This website details the history of atomic weaponry, which was central to the creation of Los Alamos. Sure enough, Los Alamos is prominently featured on the site.

I have a very strange relationship and mixed feelings about my hometown. These emotions led to my research and writing about Los Alamos during my grad studies. I guess something feels unresolved. I feel both pride and shame in my association with Los Alamos. While partly a place of great scientific accomplishment (and the origin of many of my memories), the city is also responsible for the deadliest weapon yet created that was used with horrifying results. While it could be argued that the atomic bombs prevented the loss of many lives by ending the war with Japan sooner than expected, there was still tremendous loss of life in Hiroshima and Nagasaki plus the terrible effects of fallout that were felt in Japan and in the United States because of some nuclear tests. While I believe the city added to my development in many ways, it has always been a place that creates hard questions.

The VCE website is terrific. It has a great deal of well organized info plus some rarely seen photos. I wish I could have used it in my paper, but luckily, I had many other sources. Los Alamos will remain a place of conflicting emotions, but it is an integral part of my childhood and the subject of my first "play," although if you take the time to read what I put up here, you'll see that it's hardly a "play." It's not so easily defined, like the city itself. One thing I can say for sure is that I do not glow green at night. Yet.

Bipolar Baseball Fandom

After the first week of the baseball season, I wrote that there would be some Baseball Bipolar Disorder to come. Dan Bernstein, one of my favorite sports commentators, recently said that Cubs fans look for reasons to be worried and White Sox fans look for reasons to be angry. I was already in agreement with that statement before the Cubs bullpen started looking awful and Carlos Zambrano went on the DL. Now I'm seeing lots of injuries, the Cubs two supposedly best relievers walking everything in sight, and the friggin Pirates in first place for a couple of days. At least the Pirates slid backwards as expected, but I had a feeling all of the prediction of the Cubs running away with the division was premature. It's not acting like 2004 yet when the Cubs were supposed to waltz to the World Series and all the silly entitlement went to their heads and they peed on their hands (literally, in Moises Alou's case). At the moment, I'm just agitated, mostly because the bullpen is shaky. There's other issues here and there with hitting and a few coughs in the starting pitchers, but I have faith (at this moment anyway) that those things will even out, but a bad bullpen is a killer. I'm including Cubs Baseball as part of Anxiety Mondays. A balm for anxiety, outside of Jack Bauer, is consistency; so far, White Sox fans are still angry and the Pirates are still going backwards, so that helps. Plus, I still get instant relief thinking about Reed Johnson's defense and looking at Kosuke Fukudome's April stats. Now can we get some more relief?

How to Write Good Ad Copy: Let Someone Else Write it for You

My day job is write ad copy, so I know it ain't always easy to craft stuff that'll grab attention and speak well of a product. Still, I had to crap on the advertising for Southland after seeing one of its early ads. It's getting good ratings for the moment (being in the time slot after 30 Rock doesn't hurt) so maybe the show is better than its advertising. The show's reviews are generally positive, and the NBC advertising folks have been smart enough to let someone else's advertising speak for them. Now that it's called "Don't-Blink TV" thanks to Randee Dawn's review from the Hollywood Reporter, maybe some NBC advertising lunkheads won't get in trouble. They certainly should after initially picking the worst dialogue from the show and wrapping it up in a cloying, overblown, swelling-music ad package. At least they were astute enough to see someone else doing better advertising than they were and to spread that pilfered catchphrase on the video section of the show's site. I won't be able to watch much TV for the next few years (having children tends to fill a schedule), so I'll just hope that the reviews are deserved, because it's a terrible thing when poor advertising kills something that's genuinely good. The show-killing ad execs at NBC would be wise to offer Randee Dawn a job for crafting their ad campaign for them.

How to Become Beloved by Baseball Fans When You Don't Play Much (UPDATED)

Do something like this...


(Sorry if the link dies. YouTube is run by Cardinals fans and depraved, self-centered exhibitionists; that's a redundant statement, I know. UPDATE: Sure enough, the link died. However, you may still be able to see the video here, but mlb.com has some video issues. Something this awesome should be much easier to see.)

Unless he becomes a pitcher and blows three saves in a row, Reed Johnson can now get away with just about anything. It was great fun listening the Show That Will Blow Your Pants Off afterwards and hear Nick say that Reed just blew everyone's pants off. Week one of Baseball is done. Good start. More Bipolar Disorder to come.

What Grad School Taught Me: Shut Up!

I had a lovely time in grad school earning my Master's in English, the second most useless degree for making a living after my B.A. in theater. I figured I would just read a lot of pretty stories and then talk about them, plus I'd hopefully learn how to actually write something. But there was one major drawback. A lot of the required reading (Lacan, Foucault, Derrida, etc.) and all of the classroom dialogue tried waaaaay too hard to sound intelligent. An English degree, outside of teaching, is essentially useless in almost any business sense. So many academic writers try to offset their lack of useful skill by writing with big words and complex sentences, essentially putting up a language smokescreen that sounds important but ultimately is the same, simple message heard in other arenas. See how long it took me to say, "People talk big to avoid looking small?" I can be as bad as those I rail on. I'm working on curbing my verbosity. Honestly. But I gotta kick my vodka tonic habit first.

Anyway, I was very intimidated when I first went into graduate school because people were speaking English and I couldn't understand a word they said. They also used important metaphors for criticism like "The Gaze" and seeing life through a "[Insert critical theory] Lens" or some such crapola. Granted, it's very, very, very, very, very intelligent. It's cool to think about examining Queer Theory through a Marxist Lens using the Everyman Gaze. It's also mind-numbing. Most of all, it's inefficient thinking. It took me a little while to learn this and I'm still trying to put myself into efficient use of English in spoken and written form.

This is why I like busting the balls of inefficient writing, like the ad for the show replacing ER. First, I love sharing the chuckle-inducing text. Second, I get to be a massive hypocrite. I can indulge myself in the vice I criticize. Unlike the work I do for a living, busting the balls of bad language gives license to scribble. See? I'm already on my twenty-sixth line before getting to my point. My day job is to write ad copy that's quick, easy and attractive. I can't wax on, provide details or be the language blowhard I've been trained to be. My day job is good for me. It helps me learn to shut up more, which is what I should have been learning in grad school. Other stuff I work on (like the Dinosaur Novel/Stage Play for the Factory) needs to be like ad copy: slick and to the point. That work will boil down to the point of studying English or any language: be understood. I'll shut up now.

Baseball! And...SNOW?!

At long last, Baseball Season is here. Chicago winter refuses to let go, however, as we got about an inch point five of slush. Par for the Chicago course, of course. Yes, I've moped several times about our weather. Guilty. Yes, the people in California and other constant climates are laughing, enjoying their warmth. That's fine. Those having a one-dimensional existence in California beg for days like today so they can justify the silly, overpriced place they live. Okay, you got yer day. I'll be laughing for months when the Chicago Spring feels so good and California is still smoggy, superficial, and fake.

So yeah, slush on Opening Day sucks, but it's part of living in Chicago. We got three inches last Saturday and it was gone by Monday. Same thing will happen this week. Good buddy Chas (a fellow Factory Blogger) reminded a lot of folks that we have gotten snow in Chicago much later than this. We deal with it. Hell, it was snowing on April 17, 2005 when I had my best ever seats at Wrigley seven rows up on the first base line. But now that Baseball is here, Spring will inevitably be here too. Meanwhile, there's ways to keep warm. It's all in the layering. Life in Chicago, unlike other places, has layers. Variety is tough, but worth it. Go Baseball and warm weather. Any minute now...

That's the Best you Could Write?

I was in college when ER started. I remember it clearly because I was following Michael Crichton's (RIP) works having loved Jurassic Park. ER was played in the bar all the time at the pizza joint I worked. I watched it some the first year, but never watched after I moved to Chicago unless someone I knew was a guest star, which happened less than five times. So tonight, I'm watching the finale of a show I don't like that much but respect for its longevity. Thinking that a show lasting 15 friggin years would go out with a bang, I figured I'd take a look.

The finale wasn't a bang, but the real thud came from the advertisements for ER's replacement. It's pretty much an automatic death to take the spot of something that's been successful for so long. Anyone remember what replaced M.A.S.H., Happy Days, Cheers, or Friends? Didn't think so. NBC's marketing department poured a little more poison on the show starting the replacement show ad thusly: "As one great drama ends, another takes its place." This forces the replacement show to measure up to its predecessor's success, but the real marketing suicide happened in the dialogue chosen for the ad:

"You're a cop because you don't know how not to be one."

Hwa-ba-da-HUH?

Now I'm guilty of being verbose and nonsensical but come on. What's worse is that someone wrote that for TV, then someone else thought that was a great way to advertise the show, and no one stopped them. Too bad. I know some things in the marketing world can't be stopped and there are plenty of unstoppably bad ideas that somehow get approved. Maybe the show is actually good. Those involved better hope the marketing department just didn't promote the show well, because here's the final kicker: I can't even remember the name of the show that's replacing ER. The crap-ass dialogue was the only thing that made an impression on me. Best of luck.

Spring Choppingly Heads This Way

Baseball Season is almost here. Almost. It's one of the many things I look forward to during the winter, along with the first sun dress and tank top I see; signs of warmth and sun sticking around. I will masochistically be following the Cubs again with high hopes. I do love them despite (or is it because of?) the pain they give. I registered for my place in line for season tickets about a year ago and I have moved up to 81,562. Yes!!!

Spring is my favorite time for it's rejuvenation and reawakening. With a one year-old running around and a sibling due to arrive soon, I need all the reawakening I can get. I hope to be writing more about sun and grass soon. In the mean time, I'm reading the Factory Theater Blog and going to see Mop Top Festival, which I'm proud to have been a part of behind the scenes. The writing for the other blog has slowed, but hopefully Mike and I will pick that up again eventually. No promises since he's also expecting a child, but we'll see.

Now back to my dinosaur novel (in between writing scintillating copy for marketing)...

Tough Winter

Don'tcha think?

Here's some stats (along with scary global warning postulation) on the snowfall.

Here's some more, courtesy of the Brits, on the cold.

Baseball season can't get here soon enough.

Have you checked the other site I'm writing at yet?

Happy End of 2008

Eventful times this year, to say the least. In small, personal ways and also in large, global ones. I'm thankful for the home my family is building, I'm thankful for all my time with my beloved Factory Theater, I'm thankful for the first steps and sounds my son is making, and I'm looking toward 2009 with a nervous excitement. Jack Bauer will be back to help ease Anxiety Mondays. We will have a new administration in the United States; right now, I'm profoundly happy for the change and hopeful that the Obama presidency justifies the immense amount of faith invested in it. There's great uncertainty about financial stability, there's many challenges and worries to face, and many good people were lost this year. But the days are getting longer, the temperatures will eventually start rising, and the calendar begins anew. Happy New Year and let's see what comes next.